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Page Summary
December 2007
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You know, there is so many different lyrics I had found based on this song. Only ONE caught my attention. I felt this is just perfect. Might not be exactly what she had said in the anime of japanese version. [I love love love the japanese version xD] Though this is really sweet.. For you baby <3 Alright so I have NO clue on whats been going on--and apparently Jack left.. Which.. I'm not too sure what had happen for him to do that. We promised each other not to leave each others side--but you left, and all I'm wishing is for your happiness. I do wish for you to come back--but this isn't MY choice to make. Cause real friends wont force upon your return, only want for your happiness to be there and let you do what would make you happy. No, I'm not saying for everyone to not want Jack back, I'm just saying let Jack do what he wants--let him cool off. Let him breathe. Give him some time--I'm sure he'll return. I sure as hell believe in that.
Do what makes you happy Jack, Just remember I'm here waiting for your return with open arms. I'm sure others are as well. ---------------------------------------- As for another thing... School has been a huge deal in my case. I'm packed, and right now I can't deal with any more stress and E-drama. I need to focus on MY EDUCATION.. I've been getting way too side-tracked for way to long--I need to get back into School wise thinking and do my shit so I can graduate on time.. I really need to. So, I'm thinking really hard what to do. Thanks to Mindee and my other friend Cloud, I already thought up something good to do. Have not put it into action yet--but it will happen sooner or later.. Thats all for now. BAI! Okay so no more he said she said stuff anymore! Me and Jack made up--and I don't give two shits on what anyone says anymore. If I hear something; I'll just go to first sources.. You hear something, come to me. I just want to make a few things clear. This whole E-Drama that is currently going on at this very moment--DO NOT drag me or Jose into this shit. We had nothing to do with it--we don't even know what was going on in the first place. Jack, Ginger, I really hope ya'll get this shit solve, which I highly doubt. Though I still wish for it. Soi, as for you--although you made a huge mistake thinking that shit was written by me, thats one fucked up shit you said. I don't open my fucking mouth about you--so don't you do that shit with me either. Nor point fingers, get your facts straight, and then talk. I don't like that shit. IF I had something to say, I'll gladly say it straight up to you on MSN or even message. I'm not afraid of E-drama or real drama. If I wanted to speak up, I'll be sure to speak my mind without hiding behind a computer. Everyone knows, even YOU, I'm straight up. I had always came up to you and told what's needed to be told, and hesitated not one bit. So don't drag me into shit and call me names such as slut, whore and all that. I do think you very much owe me a apology for that. I spoke to Ginger about this situation already--though I still feel upset that you, Soi, would go run your mouth and say shit about me. Not cool. I escaped from Moonbase Kawaiixkg!I killed Swtlilqtj the nutrivend drinks machine, Drownedinsugar the tribble and Xxxarc Angelxxx the cleaning droid.I salvaged the Log of the USS Xmorninqstarx, a Z-OFFI-2500 supercomputer and 43 galacticredits. Score: 168 Explore Moonbase Kawaiixkg and try to beat this score,or enter your username to generate and explore your own space adventure... Just something random since I saw it in Kiki's LJ. Seems like I beat Kiki's score. :3 Anyhow.. I just wanted to thank CICI for her comment on my last entry... Made me feel slightly better... Though I'm still losing myself.. I cried like hell last night.. After I hung up off the phone with him--wait.. A bit before that.. I couldn't hold it in much more--since I was already crying in the first place.. After we hung up, I tried to stop myself from crying, but I just couldn't stop. I had to calm down, since I didn't want anyone in my house to hear me crying. [Hopefully no one did..] After I realized I wasn't going to stop crying any time soon, I jumped into the showers and took a nice hot shower to try to calm down. After about a hour in the shower, my crying calmed down some--still crying, obviously.. Jose didn't do anything wrong.. It's just me.. I can't handle being away from him, I feel like I'd go insane.. I know the saying goes, "If you really loved someone, you can handle the wait." No, I love him so damn much, that I can't STAND it, even not talking to him for a day. It kills me. My mood swings is getting worst.. I'm starting to take it out on him, getting angry when it's not even what I wish to do.. I love him.. Hopefully he knows that, reguardless of my harsh and cold actions I do towards him.. No matter how many times I tell him I wish for a break, or even say I don't want to talk to him. It's really the other way around.. There's something wrong with me, I know there is.. I learned that when I'm like this, I just wished to be either understood by someone, and be handled a certain way.. Although it isn't easy, since once I'm like this, I start to push away everyone around me and drown myself in sorrow, alone.. Maybe I do need that time away.. And I'll be doing that, starting now. I've said it so many times, but never had the power to do it. This time... Without any of you stopping me, I'll go away for awhile.. Will I be back..? I don't even know... I really don't.. I'm sorry everyone... I'm sorry, Jose.... You must be upset at me..
Happy 5 months Jose.. <33 I love you.. &I just wanted to thank Jack. For always being there for me.. Thank you so much..
Only you and Jose understands me best.. [Aside from Kai..] I love you guys.. <33 Today, I went to go visit Jose.
I'm sooo tired to explain right now about how our day went.. Maybe tomorrow I'll write about it... But it was like perfect. To me; the best day I ever had.. I loved every moment of it... I'll just say one thing though.. After he and Donny dropped us off at the train. When I got inside and sat down.... Prehaps like 15 mins into the ride; I broke down and started crying silently to myself. I love him, so much. Anyone can say what they want; Thinking what they want; Saying... 'It's just puppy love, and maybe she loves him but not in love.' To me, I love him&in love. But you can think what you want. I'm not going to let people thoughts and saying get to me. As much as it hurts me and bothers at times; I know how I feel; and thats that. Maybe to others it might not seem that way; But I dont care. Babeh, I just wanted to say.. I know we been though a lot; We both got lots of pressure on us. We can make it; I know we can. I'm sorry if I ever get bitchy. I know I'm not the strongest girl; I can't handle pressure and stress that well.. I tend to cry so much and then say things I don't mean.. You know how I am hun; you know how I act.... I know it hurts when I say things out of anger; but I know you understand me. Just know; I love you more then ever. More than anything in this freakin' world. For the first time; in so damn long... I fell hard for him.... I love him so much; it hurts. I don't want pity; I just want my real friends to be there for me. For my world; Jose.. To stay strong, like i'm trying... -Ruru-Chan [Aya.Sama] I'm seeing way to many "I <3 NY, I <3 BRONX, PR.." Blah blah shirts. It was like all over the school. Everywhere I went; SOMEONE was wearing it. I'm like geez.. I understand that you like it.. Its just so annoying seeing it everywhere I look. Ugh, lol.. But whatever. Class was half boring and half fun. But I know its going to get more work and busy as time passes. [Sighs.] I got home--It was HOT.. I got bored and fixed up my hair all reatarded. Yet it came out nice and my mom and everyone was like "Do you like; have make up on or something?" I just was like "What..? I don't wear make up. I'm not wearing make up. Only eyeliner. o.o.." And they all started saying crap on how I look different from them and pretty and such. Then I just out of the blue cut them off and like posed while flicking my hair and said, "I'M THE NEXT TOP MODEL." And we all cracked up. Nah; I know I'm not that good looking for modeling and such. Although everyone tells me to do it; I wont. Its just 1.Not my thing. 2.I'm fat lol. 3.I'm not.. model looking o.o.. I'll stick with Graphic designing, thanks. :D
So I might be going to China Town in a few. I might go get Jose's gift today. Then go to his place tomorrow.. Though I'm not sure if I'll be able to go tomrrow; and if I can even go tomorrow and Thursday.. I want to go as much as I can.. Before School starts getting crazy and such.. To the point where I'll get so busy. Not to mention; I'm planning to help my sister out by giving her like 10 bucks each month for using her phone at times. 1.Since I DO use it at times, free time or mins. I still use it. 2.Most of my friends are stored in her phone; and hell I think I use it more then she does. 3.It would help her out a lot if I did that. Hell I would even pay half if only I could. But she said 10 bucks is still really helpful; and she's happy that I agreed to it. 10 bucks isn't a lot. Plus; as long as I'm helping her; I'm glad to do it. It wouldn't be fair for me using it for free. I should even be glad she lets me use it you know? Plus; cause of this; I MIGHT be able to take it with me to places once in awhile if she wont be using it. SO GUYS. Ask for teh number and call meee. LAWLS. Though I got most of ya'll numbers already. But yes; feel free to call and ask for me now. :D BUT HOW IS YOUR HEALTH, AYA!? ( Well now.. ) On to more important matters in my own damn life.. I'm going to go visit Jose next week. Since I obviously can't go on his birthday.. It's on a school day and thats lots of risks himself and I have to take if I wanna go there. So yes; next week, I'll get to beat you up and run into your arms. Hahaha; just thinking about it makes me wish it was tomorrow. xD Oh, I just wanted to say... ( For teh lover; ) -Ruru.Chan. This isn't how I wish to be; but it's gotten to me; and killing me slowly. SCHOOL Okay so my first day back in school was.. Strange. I got another math class. Which is a class inbetween Math A and Math B. I'm like WTF. WHY DO I HAVE THIS. IM IN MATH B BIOTCHES.I passed the damn Math A; I shouldn't be here!! xD.. My Sci prp teacher seem cool; Gym class with one of the meanest gym teachers.. Saw my old Gym teacher and he like grinned at me. In my head I was all like "OMGOSH NO, I WANNA BE IN YOUR CLASS AGAIN D:" Everyone says he's mean too; but me and him gets along fine! [Flash back to when he kept saying put more weight. lawls.] Then my USH, same teacher from last year.. He was all like.. "Lysa..." And just stared at me and looked away. ;~; Thank god I have Chris in that class with me. :D Then my English class; I don't know how I got into it if I didn't take the regents.. But Im hoping to keep that class cause it seems fun. The fact the subject we'll be working on is 'battle of the sexes.' Hell yeah. I got LOTS to say on that subject!! So.. I guess I got a lot of things to change up and switch around. [Sighs.] Not to mention I got no lunch period. [Funny thing is, they changed up the lunch room and it looks so fucking pretty. Like hot. Yet, I have no lunch. Fucking grand isn't it?] At least I got to see my homies again. I saw Kai and J in the lunch room in the morning waiting to go to class. I ran over all crazy and was like, "JANELLLLLL THAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" That was funny. I missed them lots. <3
==================================== LIFE So things been pretty good. Its like; I'm down and stressed then bam; flew back to happiness! Thanks to Friends keeping me sane; and Jose for keeping me loved and cared for. <3 I'll write more later.. :3  Reminds you of someone? Blahaha. Alright, so I pretty much just wanted to say. This E-Drama wont end. Only cause Ms.E-drama likes to go on and pretend to be innocent. Thats fine. We ALL know, I usually keep to myself when drama like this appears.. I dislike E-drama. &I don't bash unless its personally a problem between me and a person. I only decided to step in, cause it's getting more silly when each day passes. Plus, the original problem was already passed over.. But, as always.. She gotta make a new problem so that she'd have something to rant on, and make herself look innocent like. &Guess what? I didn't even bash her, though she conciders it bashing.. Mm.. It must have really gotten to her brains and got her worked up if she wrote a entry about it saying im tryin' to bash her? Then say she doesn't know who it is but sounds like Rukia.. Hmm.. Ruru. Doesn't everyone know Ruru is me? Ruru=Rukia. I'm pretty damn sure I had "-Ruru" at the very end.. God maybe I should take a picture too to show it. Lawls. The whole crew calls me it, YES. Ah well, guess people who are too full of themselves doesn't read correctly. Please, don't make yourself look more of a fool by tryin' to play innocent, when everyone knows the real deal. I'm not bashing, if I wanted to, I would. You're just not worth the time to BASH on. It's a waste of time bashing on someone who can't even understand simple words. Will you make another entry on me and say "Oh Rukia had wrote a lj entry about me? she knows nothing about me and still trying to 'bash' on me" Please, flatter me missy. I'll be glad to see what else false things you wanna type out for the world and your friends to read. You're not fooling anyone. You're only being ridiculous. People like that needs to grow up. [Shrugs.] As long as the people you're tryin' to fool knows the real deal, I can just sit back and enjoy the lovely show of 'The fool pretending to play innocent' . Oh I'm on msn too. Wanna take a go at me? Come IM me. But I'll only respond to you If you're mature enough to talk things out. Enough said. ======================================== EDIT - On to the regular things. Oh god, I found myself obsessed with Asian Kung-Fu Generation, AGAIN. The song Kimi to lu hana & Rewrite is fucking awesome. I can't stop singing both songs. <3 Freakin' Jose man. He's making the fan girl status on AKFG come out of me again. @_@.. I LOVE AKFG. I love you too Jose. >_>;; Lawls. <3 The video os Kimi to lu hana is so dizzy. Also because of that video, each time I hear the song I just wanna skip along and kick around like that guy did lololol. Then Rewrites video was weird, but I think the most normal out of all that I've seen. God, thier old song which I wont say, the video creeps me out. But the song sounds awesome if you listen to it. :D My obsession is switching around like nuts. Though I think when it comes to AKFG, it'll be on that for awhile. Cause they are awesome, and they ARE my fav. JRock band. :3 Oh oh, I felt all jolly inside earlier in the day yesterday. I gots to talk to Jose on the phone for a longgg time. :D Well somewhat. Being all random and planning a mission impossible. LAWL. I went to the arcades as well, and had fun playing ITG and DDR Super Nova. Oh, not to forget, the punching bag thing. Lovely. China Town Fair, Love the place but crazy people. xD -Ruru-chan [Aya.sama;] So.. I dont wanna throw my 2 cents into a drama thats somewhat dying out. [Or so I think.] SO I'll just keep my words to myself. But I'll just say one thing.. If I find out anyone is still running their mouths on my man or any of my friends, Do know, I'll be stepping in &It'll be hell. But if Jose is saying something, before running your mouth, be a grown up and tell him directly he needs to stop. Like uhmm.. Take it to msn? Hahah. Anyways moving along.. School is coming, and im like going nuts. I don't wanna go back yet! My program seems weird.. But hopefully I'll live. Only 7 classes, with no lunch. x.x.. I start early, 7:30 am and get out around 1-ish. That seems good right? xD OH and im so getting back into Hip hop thanks to a certain someone. DAMN HIM. LOL.. I'm like, stuck listening to 'Take it slow' and 'I'm a flirt'. [Mainly I'm a flirt..] I was watching tv.. Then I heard someone outside blasting out 'Im a Flirt' in their car. I was like. "I'M A FLIRT!" And started to spazz in my house. My sister was like. "You like that song?" And I said yeah, we cracked up cause she likes it too. HAHAHA. God. What happen to me!? Don't worry, I'm still your asian jpop/rock chick though! <3~ Oh yes, Jose's birthday is coming up soon! I can't think of what to get him. ;~;.. I can't wait till my birthday either. Since like, it's on our 7 months together. Haha <3
Role playing might be slow, since I know Ima be busy as holy hell with school. I need to work my ass off this year. >.<;; Darn.. Bleh.. All the good teachers left this year. SHIT. Okay now moving along to the dramatic stuff-ish. I've been well, but I've been having lots on my mind as well.. Its like.. I don't know.. One moment im all happy with nothing on mind bothering me. Then the next, Something is, and its random things that I thought I pushed aside. It's like WTH why did I have to think about it again. Just go awayyyyy. I'm honestly really happy with Jose. Lots of people say we're like perfect for each other, which makes me smile. <3 Then they also say if we ever break up they'd kill us. Haha. SCARYY. And its not just my friends, its his too. Silleh people. Well thats all for now. When I have more things to say, i'll either edit or write another entry. PEACE OUT. :D -Ruru-Chan [Aya.sama;] |
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